


Let me save you

by Warlock_Nerd



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Crying, Depressed Magnus Bane, Kissing, Love, M/M, Protective Alec Lightwood, Self Harm, Suicide Attempt, Supportive Alec Lightwood, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 17:54:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10791714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warlock_Nerd/pseuds/Warlock_Nerd
Summary: Magnus couldn't take it anymore. So he tries to end his life.Will someone stop him in time?





	Let me save you

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone is thinking about self harming or committing suicide then seek help and talk to someone.

_FREAK_

_WHORE_

_DEMON_

_SLUT_

_DEVIL CHILD_

_WORTHLESS_

_USELESS_

_DEMON_

_SLUT_

_WHORE_

_DEMON_

_DEMON_

_DEMON_

The words rush through Magnus' head like a neurological virus. The earlier conversation with Victor Aldertree at the institute came back in his mind. 

~~~~~~~

 

"Warlock. Thank you for attending this meeting." Victor says to Magnus as he enters the office. 

"I didn't have a choice or i wouldn't be here." He replies. 

They sit down and begin to talk about the soul sword and Aldertree is trying to find some way to crack the warlock. Either make the cat eyed man shake with anger or weep with sadness. It was a new entertainment for the shadowhunter; watching downworlders squirm. 

Alec came up into conversation. 

"So, what is the deal with you and Alec?" He asks.

"What is there to say? We're dating." 

"Are you sure?" 

"What?" 

"He's a shadowhunter; one of the best in fact. He kills demons like you for a living." Victor continues, "And you, you are just a warlock. A demon. A disgrace." 

Magnus sat uncomfortably in his chair trying to not let the tears fill his golden eyes, "I love him." 

Victor CHUCKLES, "He doesn't love you. How could you not see that?" 

Magnus stays silent. 

"He's playing with you. Manipulating you. Controlling you. Using you for your powers." 

"Stop." He whimpers.

"Really think about it. Tell me that there is evidence against my facts." 

Magnus did. He let Victor get into his head and so the warlock started to think. The times Magnus used his power to heal everyone during the war, free of charge. The times Alec would've been dead if it wasn't for Magnus. Isabelle, Clary, Jace, Luke... Everyone. He has saved everyone from meeting deaths door. 

The number of portals he opened so that the shadowhunters didn't have to walk or use a rune. The number of times he made an intense potion, using all his magic in the process, for the shadowhunters and the clave. 

_He was right. I am being used._

"You're right." He whispers. 

Aldertree laughed, "'Of course i am." 

"I love him. B-but he s-said it too. O-outside. After the S-sword was activated." He let the tears fall as heart break won over his emotions. 

"He lied. I bet the only reason you were in this institute yesterday was because of Alec. Alec let you risk your life. Didn't try to stop you or protect you." 

The tears continued to fall freely. 

"I-I got to go." 

"One second, Demon." 

Magnus let the nickname slip as he was right. He was a demon. A useless, pathetic demon who fell in love with yet another scum bag who used him. 

"You have quite the reputation. Am i correct?" 

"Reputation with what?" 

"Relationships." 

"Yes." He sounded ashamed, because he was. The years of sex, booze, drugs and other things to just keep the pain inside at bay. 

"Alec knows?" 

"Yes." His voice cracked. 

"He thinks your a whore and slut then. I bet he slept with you the next day as he knew you were easy." 

The night that Alec and Magnus shared rang back in his thoughts. The kissed, the touches, the moans and pants of their love making almost made the warlock forget this conversation. Nearly. 

"Yeah you two had sex and he used you even more." Victor spits. 

"I got to g-go." 

With that he ran out the office with tears streaming. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Now he was sitting on the bathroom floor. Sobbing his heart out as flashbacks, harsh words and made up situations run through is brain. 

_He never loved you_

_No one loves you_

_Slut_

_Whore_

_Demon_

_Demon_

_Pathetic_

_Kill yourself_

_Everyone would be better off without you_

_You know its true_

_Do it_

_Do it_

_Do it_

He listens to the voice in the back of his head and reaches over to a knife which had an Egyptian style to it. The symbols and engravings wrapped around the blade. It felt cold in his hand and with his finger tips he gracefully stroke the sharpness, cutting as he stroked.  He dug the tip of the blade into the crook of his left elbow and watched as blood ooze from the wound he created. He moved the knife making his skin tare as he went along. more blood spilled but it didn't hurt as the adrenaline rushed through his unopened veins. 

He weakly did the other arm when his phone rang. 

' Alexander <3 '

He answered with a exhausted 'Hello' as he was losing contentiousness. And hope. 

**_"Magnus? Are you okay? Izzy said she saw you crying."_ **

"M' Fine." He slurred. 

**" _No you're not. What happened? Are you okay?"_**

"You never loved me" His voice cracked as tears fell once again. 

**_"What are you talking about? Of course i do."_ **

"Don't lie to me."

**_"I'm not. I love you,"_ **

He let out a sob as Alec continued.

**_"I love you so much. Where are you? Mags?"_ **

"I love you, Alexander. But im tired. I'm so tired." 

**_"Magnus? No! Tell me you didn't!"_ **

"I love you." 

**_"Magnus?"_ **

"I love you." 

**_"Magnus!"_ **

"Goodbye, my love" The phone disconnected as he heard Alec screaming his name down the phone. His eyes became heavy and is head wobbled as the pool of blood surrounded him like a soft blanket. His body became cold and his lips became crackled. His breaths became raggered and the only thing he could hear was a high pitched ringing. 

Then he heard echoed footsteps of people running. He kept hearing people shouting his name and suddenly came banging on the locked bathroom door. The door bustered off its hinges and in came Alec, Isabelle and Jace. 

Alec's face, which was filled with tears and concern, was the last thing he saw before passing out. 

~~~~~~~~

When he awoke, he was tucked into his bed with his shirt off, face free from makeup, nail polish chipped and two large bandages on either arm covering his personal crime scene. But that wasn't what surprised him. 

It was the fact, A puffy clump of black hair was resting on his stomach which was connected to a sleeping form. Alec. 

Magnus couldn't help but run his hand through and have the familiar thick hairs through his fingers. 

This woke the shadowhunter up and see the awake Magnus. 

"Magnus! you're up!" He pulled him into a big bear hug which the warlock returned. 

"What happened? Are you in pain? Why did you do that to me? I was so scared." He rambled. 

"Alec." 

"Was it me? Are you depressed? does someone need to be killed?" 

"Alec!" 

Silence. 

Once the shadowhunter calmed down he softly asked, "Why? What happened?" 

The warlock took a deep breath before answering, "I went to see Victor Aldertree as he requested to see me. He wasn't very pleasant to talk to."

"What did he say?" 

"How you never loved me, how i was a slut and a whore, a demon and he said that you were playing me because i was easy and that i didn't deserve to be here with you. He told me i was a disgusting creature and you were using me like everyone else does. " Magnus let out a choked sob. 

Alec lets some tears of his own fall. The taller man put both hands on his boyfriends face to cradle it. "I love you. I love you so much. You are my everything. I am not using you and either are Jace, Izzy, Clary.. All those people. You are not disgusting nor are you a demon or a whore. You are Magnus Fucking Bane who is one of the strongest, bravest, kindest and most handsome person i have ever got the pleasure of meeting. You are not easy or a slut. You are a passionate, gentle and a thoughtful man. I love you. I fell in love with you since we met." 

"I Love you, Alexander." 

The kissed in a passionate but needy kiss were they held onto each other, refusing to let go. 

~~~~~~

Izzy and Jace walked into the room later to check on the two. Alec had his arms protectively around Magnus with their legs tangled together and Magnus had his head buried into the hunters neck with his bandage covered arms wrapped tight around Alec's middle. They looked at peace. They looked in love. 

The other two left them to sleep, already plotting the best way to kill Victor Aldertree. 


End file.
